"A Never writer, to an Ever reader. News" was the headline for a preface/epistle that appeared in one of the two quartos of Troilus and Cressida that appeared in 1609. The orthodox theory, with which some Oxfordians agree, is that this preface is a sales pitch (created by the publisher) after the first quarto didn't sell too well. Both Oxfordians and Stratfordians agree that the preface was attached to the second state of the T&C quarto, which only adds to the mystery of why two states of the quarto exist, and what is really going on here.
Many Oxfordians believe that this epistle is clearly a window on the politics surrounding the Shakespeare authorship situation, with the preface hinting at a background political conflict ("grand censors" and "grand possessors") surrounding the plays of "this author," a conflict which eventually became the "Shakespeare authorship" question that still bedevils us today. The use of the word "grand" is particularly telling in this regard, since in the 17th Century it most often referred to figures of political or other high authority. That it would have been applied to actor-shareholders at this time seems unlikely. This theory would also mean that two significant Shakespeare publications (the "Never writer" edition of T&C and the Sonnets) were both published in the same year, both had enigmatic prefaces hinting at a story behind the story. And after these two publications appeared in the spring of 1609, there would not be another new Shakespeare work of any kind on the market until the Othello quarto of 1622 was published, preceding by one year the First Folio of 1623.
In any event, the words of this headline itself are extremely interesting in light of the Oxfordian theory of the Shakespeare authorship. Edward de Vere is known to have signed documents E.Ver and e.Ver. Certain anonymous poems from the 1570s signed Never or Ever are believed by some commentators to be his. Since Edward de Vere is in fact (if the Oxfordian theory of the Shakespeare authorship is true) a writer who was never known to have written, this headline is then a brief, brilliant 8-word summation of the entire Shakespeare authorship dilemma:
"[From] A writer who will n[E.Ver] be known to have written, to a reader who will read for[E.Ver] the works of [E.Ver]. News".
It's so good we wonder who wrote it. .
Eternal reader, you have here a new play, never staled with the stage, never clapper-clawed with the palms of the vulgar, and yet passing full of the palm comical; for it is a birth of your brain that never undertook anything comical vainly. And were but the vain names of comedies changed for titles of commodities, or of plays for pleas, you should see all those grand censors, that now study them such vanities, flock to them for the main grace of their gravities, especially this author's comedies, that are so framed to the life that they serve for the most common commentaries of the all the actions of our lives, showing such a dexterity and power of wit that the most displeased with plays are pleased with his comedies. And all such dull and heavy-witted worldings as were never capable of the wit of a comedy, coming by report of them to his representations, have found that wit there that they never found in themselves and have parted better witted than they came, feeling an edge of wit set upon them more than ever they dreamed they had brain to grind it on. So much and such savored salt of wit is in his comedies that they seem, for their height of pleasure, to be born in that sea that brought forth Venus. Amongst all there is none more witty than this: and had I time I would comment upon it, though I know it needs not, for so much as will make you think your testern well bestowed, but for so much worth as even poor I know to be stuffed in it. It deserves such a labor as well as the best comedy in Terrence or Plautus. And believe this, that when he is gone and his comedies out of sale, you will scramble for them and set up a new English Inquisition. Take this for a warning, and at the peril of your pleasure's loss, and judgments's, refuse not, nor like this the less for not being sullied with the smoky breath of the multitude; but thank fortune for the 'scape it hath made amongst you, since by the grand possessers' wills I believe you should have prayed for them rather than been prayed. And so I leave all such to be prayed for, for the state of their wits' healths, that will not praise it. Vale.